you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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