We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
