btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
