There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
