I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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