Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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