I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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