We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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