we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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