So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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