And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize