i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
