therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
