So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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