No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
