I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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