Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize