listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
