We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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