dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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