all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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