Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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