I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
