i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
