...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
