you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize