i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
