Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
