So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
