I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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