I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
