so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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