It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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