That's intense
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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