census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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