he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
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Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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