so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
