I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
