I got chris browned last night
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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