I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
