So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
