yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize