I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
