I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
