My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
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Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I did not marry a roomba.
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