the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I could fuck to npr.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
