i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
