well you can't waste a boner
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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