I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
