Plan B is the new Plan A
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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