Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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