well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
