where does the pee come out of this thing
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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