nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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