Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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