I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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