I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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