She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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