Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am naked and annoyed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
