The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
