do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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