You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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