You just made me feel so damn special
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
