If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
