Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
