who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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