I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
