3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
