I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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